There are many constructive moves you can make when you find yourself in a difficult conversation or conflict at work. But they all rest upon a foundation of one crucial move. I demonstrate it for you here.
TranscriptThe #1, Best, Most Excellent Conflict Resolution Move
What is arguably the most important move you can make when you are involved in any sort of difficult conversation at work: whether it’s a conflict, an important negotiation, a yearly review, even an awkward social situation?
It seems like nothing, it’s almost invisible, yet it’s crucial.
It’s to PAUSE and stop ourselves from reacting, from doing all the things that would escalate the situation.
No lashing back, no defensive questioning, no self-criticism.
No fight or flight, or automatic response borne of our upset.
Pausing creates a space in which we can choose how to respond. All other helpful moves, and there are many, begin there.
We may assess what’s happening, we may try to learn more, we may remind ourselves of our ultimate goal for the situation…
…And then, when we are ready, we can act, not react, in a way that moves things in the most constructive direction..
How do you learn to pause like this and not react? Well, it’s not easy. More to come…