10 Ways To Strengthen Your “Pause-Ability” (And Not Lose Your Cool)

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    Ever get into an argument at work and 15 minutes later think to yourself: “Why did I just say that!?” One reason: research has shown we literally get stupider when we are upset. Check out these ten strategies to prevent yourself from saying things you’ll later regret.

14 responses to 10 Ways To Strengthen Your “Pause-Ability” (And Not Lose Your Cool)

  1. Lee Rush says:

    You know you are on to good thing when someone (that would be me) sends you this kind of feedback:
    Richard– I was just thinking of you yesterday wondering when I will see my next video. I am totally serious. The format you have established is valuable. A three minute, concise video every so often, that makes me think. Today’s message– pause, think, breath, act. Exactly what I needed to hear.

    1. Richard Cohen says:

      Thanks Lee! Glad you are finding them useful. And I’ve heard from a couple of people saying the same thing as you. Very gratifying…

  2. Rosemary says:

    I agree with Lee. When I came in just now and switched on my computer to do some work I saw your video and said, ‘Oh good another message from Richard.’ And unlike Lee you do not know me. I’m just grateful for these bite sized reminders on how to cultivate a positive approach to managing conflict resulting in feeling better myself and improving relationships. Thank you very much! I hope you will continue to do them. It’s also good to be able to access them in the video archive.

    1. Richard Cohen says:

      Thanks so much for reaching out and letting me know, Rosemary! I really appreciate it. ;o)

  3. James Gabbard says:

    Thanks as always Richard. Terrific message, very similar to what I encourage regarding Anger Management and true violence prevention. Noticing an awareness of those amygdala signals and then practice “waiting for calm” before (your words) responding. Thanks for all you are doing. You are appreciated.


    1. Richard Cohen says:

      Thanks for writing, Jim. And keep up the good work you are doing…

  4. John says:

    Succinct and insightful! Thanks for doing this Richard!

    1. Richard Cohen says:

      And thanks for watching (and writing) John.

  5. Ben Stich says:

    I love the graphic, Richard. Did you create that yourself? Is it something that can be shared? I can see this as just as useful in the family conflict realm as the workplace conflict arena that you work. The snow day was good for one thing — I had the time to check out your post! Be well, Richard. -Ben

    1. Richard Cohen says:

      Thanks for writing, Ben. Yes, I created that slide, yes you can use it, and yes, just as applicable at home as at work. This stuff is all MUCH harder to do at home I think… At least it’s harder for me.

  6. Eileen says:

    Pause-ability; love it! I also love a related reminder: “Pause when agitated.” I try to practice the ability to pause before reacting, and have found that it gets a bit easier over time. Thanks for another valuable video, Richard.

    1. Richard Cohen says:

      Thanks, Eileen. Good to hear from you. Pausing is certainly not easy to do, or easy to get better at; but it does gets easier with practice. And I do believe that from an evolutionary perspective, it is our collective growing edge…


    Richard, your short videos are terrific! I had a client ask about self-regulation and I thought, “Richard says it succinctly and with a touch of humanity.” I love your website and your generosity with your wise advice.

    1. Richard Cohen says:

      Thanks, Kristen.

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